#50 - I Wonder, I Wonder

Hello People,

I’m sitting in my room writing this while listening to the Kyle Kingsbury Podcast with Dr. Mark Cheng, episode #150. It is a great episode diving into physical health, strength, and more which is everything I love.

I am interested in this because movement/physical activity has always been a part of my life. I was never the best at sports, literally, but I always did enjoy playing something. I always struggled mentally when it came to trying new things and having confidence in myself, but I am in a different phase of life now, currently at 25, and honestly, I feel better now than ever.

I won’t lie though, some days I feel like biggest pussy there is, a feeling of being not enough. While other days, I see the truth, that I am enough, that we are all enough, regardless of what we do in this life.

I see this existence as one realm. We all have different beliefs as humans, especially regarding God, which I think is funny. God must be laughing at how silly we are. I’m not sure where I stand with my beliefs. I do believe Jesus was a real person and maybe he was God, or is the environment I grew up in conditioned to believe this? People are terrified of death, so they take comfort in the fact that they know what happens after death. What if we are reborn into another realm? That’d be kinda sweet.

I think we all have a problem letting go. We struggle trying to be perfect, when in reality that day will never come. I wonder if we are so imperfect that we are actually perfect. It’s like the idea of things existing and not existing at the same time. I wonder, I wonder.

Thank you for reading,

Ben